Son of Bigfoot (2018)
Directed by Ben Stassen & Jeremy Degruson
Viewed on Amazon Prime
Why did I even make that poll? I was trying to be nice and get everyone involved by asking if people wanted February to be about romance films or Bigfoot films and it was a tie so romantic Bigfoot movies won the day. Unlike with literature, there isn’t a huge pool of Bigfoot romantic cinema laying around that isn’t just straight-up porn, and I really don’t want to watch that, so I decided to go with the next best thing, a movie in which we know that Bigfoot has a son. At some point in the backstory of this movie, Bigfoot had hairy animalistic intercourse with a woman (or man, if Bigfoot was a lady) that resulted in offspring. I guess that’s the closest we’re getting to romance. So, Son of Bigfoot!
Son of Bigfoot is the timeless story of a kid who just doesn’t fit in! He’s bullied by bullies and has awkward sexual tension with a nerdy girl that he will definitely end up with at the end of the movie despite the two barely sharing one scene together. One day, after bullies chase him to and vandalize his home, which really should have warranted more of a response from Son of Bigfoot or his Mom than none at all, Son of Bigfoot learns that his father, who has been missing his whole life, is actually alive and in the forest! Wounded by his parents’ lies, Son of Bigfoot runs away to find the father he never knew, only to learn that his dad is the legendary Bigfoot! But that’s not the whole story, as a hair biomedical company is after Bigfoot to get his hair DNA so they can genetically engineer hairpieces of intense quality. Yes, that is actually the story.
If you can’t tell from my snarky tone then I’ll clear up any confusion right now, I do not like this movie. And that’s not just because there is very little Bigfoot romancing. I kind of assumed that a children’s film wouldn’t have long drawn out scenes of Bigfoot and…woman who sired a child with Bigfoot, and no I don’t remember anyone’s name minutes after watching it, declaring their love for each other, but I expected more than what I got. Getting back on track, I do not like this movie because it is so incredibly simple, streamlined, and derivative that there is not an original thought involved with the entire production. There are no genuine emotions involved in the story because we’ve seen this story so many times that anyone who has seen more than one movie could go recite the story arc in their sleep.
What is that story arc? Here it is: Kid gets bullied for being different then he learns that his differences come from a family superpower and that his curse is actually a gift. That bare bones story could be okay if it’s handled correctly, but here it’s like everyone writing the movie knew how boring the story was and just kind of gave up on making it more interesting, which is kind of a weird thing to say about a movie where Bigfoot settles down with a woman and then abandons his family because a corporation wants to harvest his genome, but I will explain!
Even though the basic story is quite emotional and full of angst, anger, joy, love, and so on, none of the scenes herein actually have any sort of emotional impact. For example, Son of Bigfoot learns that his parents have been corresponding in secret and lying to him for his whole life so he gets mildly upset about this and runs away to find his father. After making the incredibly responsible decision to hitchhike and accompany a trucker for a hundred miles, Son of Bigfoot eventually finds his estranged father only to not get any strong reaction out of him at all. Seriously, after more than a decade of not seeing him and just hearing about his growth through letters, Bigfoot finally sees Son of Bigfoot and is like, ‘Hey what’s up, good to see ya.’ It’s such a frustrating moment because they set it up like I should care about this meeting but if the characters feel nothing, then why should I feel anything?
Let me dial this back for a second and say that Son of Bigfoot is technically fine. The animation is okay, I don’t care much for how it’s stylized, but it looks good for the budget that they had. The dub is alright, this is a Belgian-French production so they couldn’t get the most well known English voice actors but the ones they managed to find aren’t too bad. And as much as I ragged on the story for being bland and unoriginal, there isn’t anything wrong with the framework of the story, it just needed some more polish to have more emotional impact. Also, maybe if the romantic relationships had any more work put into them than none at all? Bigfoot and Mom of Son of Bigfoot have maybe two scenes to establish their deep passionate love for each other, and Son of Bigfoot and nerd girl have one scene to establish nerd girl’s interest in Son of Bigfoot. It is all very superficial.
Superficial is one word that perfectly describes this movie. Everything seems like it is made to be understood by people who are barely paying attention, which I know because I was barely paying attention, because Son of Bigfoot was so unengaging. What did get my attention though was the mildly less than politically correct humor, such as when a group of Japanese businessmen are given a tour of the hair corporation and they make a point of saying how many cameras these three men have between them. I have no idea how the “Asians love cameras” stereotype was created, but we should be past the point where it’s no longer acceptable. Also there are some hunters who show up in the woods and…oh boy, are they unpleasant takes on the redneck stereotype. I don’t think Son of Bigfoot should be taking on the moral and ethical debates involved with hunting culture by showing everyone who hunts to be a stupid, gun-toting, fast food-munching, animal/nature-hating buffoons. However you feel about hunting, Son of Bigfoot is not the place to have this discussion.
The bottom line is, this movie isn’t really for anyone. It is way too dumb for anyone but really young children, but at the same time I can’t imagine kids would get too much out of this. Maybe they would laugh at the wacky forest creatures, but the entire plot of Bigfoot’s hair genes being pilfered by a hair biomedical company probably wouldn’t make any sense to them. Everything here just seems kind of phony and there isn’t any strong emotional core to keep you into these characters. And Bigfoot only kisses his wife on the cheek and then has a real kiss with her interrupted, so even if you’re here for Bigfoot-human romance, you’re still not getting what you came for!
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