Category: Dog Days of Summer

PawParazzi

PawParazzi (2018)

Directed by Ari Novak

Something that’s become a running theme in these dog movies is that frequently they are not at all what they appear to be. As we saw in the previous Dog Days of Summer post, Doggie B was in no way what the box art advertised but viewing that was an amazing experience that would not have been possible had it not caught me so off guard. Tonight we’re facing a similar situation. Look at that movie poster. Look how front and center that dog is. I should have known. I should have known that this was a trick and that this adorable dog was not really what the movie was going to be about. I failed. And now you get to witness my shame. So please, join me on a journey through the incredibly deceptively named PawParazzi.

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Doggie B

Doggie B (2013)
Directed/Written/Produced by Romanus Wolter

You’d think after what must be a few years of doing Dog Days of Summer reviews, I would know not to judge a movie by its poster. You’d be wrong. I avoided watching Doggie B since I began this series because I saw that poster up there and assumed this was some kind of dog music contest movie, and that it would be too similar to Pup Star, a movie series that I have covered most of. The amount of regret I have for doing that is insane because Doggie B is top tier dog nonsense. Not quite as good as movies like Quigley or Sox: A Family’s Best Friend, it’s too technically competent for that, but this story and these visuals are something that will stick with me, especially because Doggie B is not about music. It is about dancing with dogs, like this:

Let’s get started!

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Abner The Invisible Dog (2013)

Abner The Invisible Dog (2013)
Directed by Fred Olen Ray

Welcome back to the latest installment of Dog Days of Summer, a series where I watch and review the finest terrible family-friendly dog films. Any of you who have read my Dog Days Of Summer reviews from previous years, all three of you, might recall a similar movie I reviewed, Dude Where’s My Dog? Watching that cinematic tour de force was so exhilarating, I immediately knew I had to watch this movie to check if it had even one-tenth of the potential that the previous film possessed. What followed was one of the most disappointing viewing experiences I can remember. It’s not that Abner The Invisible Dog isn’t bad, because it certainly is, it is because this movie is the least enjoyably bad dog movie I’ve seen in a long time. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to make this a very meta-review, but for now, let’s introduce Abner The Invisible Dog!

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Ally and Obie (2014)

Ally and Obie

Directed by Alfred Robbins

Welcome back to this week’s entry into the Dog Days of Summer, my favorite time of year where I get to write about the best bad family dog movies I can find! After the rousing success that was last week’s film Quigley, I had to think long and hard about what could possibly follow that insanity. Instead of trying to top the weirdness of Quigley, I decided that we needed to get back to the bread and butter of the Dog Days of Summer, talking dog movies! After seeing that magical poster up there and reading about how in this film, Ally gets by with some help from her talking dog Obie, I thought we had a real winner. In a way I think we do, because Ally and Obie is one of the most bafflingly written “dog” movies I’ve encountered, starting with scene one.

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Quigley (2006)

Quigley (2006)
Directed by William Byron Hillman

Okay This Intro Is Actually Really Cute.

Welcome back everyone to the latest chapter of Dog Days of Summer, a special time of the year where I cover wholesome family dog movies instead of the usual fare of horror. You may recall the last movie I covered, Avenger Dogs, nearly broke me. I managed to finish it, but its repetitive nature, crude pseudo-animation, and lack of anything resembling a story cemented that movie as the least enjoyable thing I have watched for Dog Days of Summer, period. I needed to get back in the groove this week so I chose some low hanging fruit, a faith-based children’s film about a dog named Quigley, starring Gary Busey. You may have heard of Quigley, it has already made its rounds on the internet, but if you haven’t then oh boy, are you in for a treat, for Quigley is a deep tale of atonement, faith, and the never-ending comedy of people falling down.

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Avenger Dogs (2019)

Greetings, friends! Welcome back to this week’s entry into the Dog Days of Summer series, a yearly event where I punish myself with terrible family-friendly dog movies. After covering the largely samey and uninspired Alpha and Omega series last week, I thought that Avenger Dogs might be the fun and energetic bad movie that I needed to get back in the Dog Days spirit! Just look at that poster! That poster promises fun dog superhero action and me, being the fool that I am, turned this movie on expecting a good time. I did not find a good time. Instead, I found the most insulting bait and switch scam that I have come across since starting the Dog Days of Summer series years ago, one that almost broke me. But I finished this movie. For you. So please join me as I warn everyone who will listen about the evils of Avenger Dogs.

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ALPHA AND OMEGA THE SEQUELS (2-8)

Written and Directed by: Various

Welcome back for the second entry in this year’s Dog Days of Summer series, the special time of year when I talk about terrible family-friendly dog movies. After covering the first movie of the Alpha and Omega series last week, I figure now would be a good time to get the entire rest of the series out of the way. Hopefully, there won’t be any more of these things and this can be my final thoughts on the series, and its been a few years since the 8th movie was released, so maybe we can all relax. Save that for the end though, because now I’m going to tell you about the rest of these movies. Calling them movies may be a bit of a stretch, because, in an act of sweet mercy, all these productions are 45 minutes max. I’d prefer that they were 0 minutes, but I’ll take what I can get. For time’s sake, I will limit each review to one paragraph and include an image from each film that I think is representative of the overall movie. Let’s get started!

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Alpha & Omega (2010)

Welcome, one and all to the official beginning of the Dog Days of Summer! If you’re an old hand, you know the drill, but if you’re new, the Dog Days of Summer is a yearly event where I take a break from talking horror to talk about my second favorite weird genre of movie, terrible family-friendly dog movies! I had originally envisioned this year starting with a rundown of the entire Alpha and Omega franchise, that is still happening, but I thought it might be better to start off covering just the first one so we all have a bit more context for why the next seven movies are even more terrible than they already are. Please join me as I talk about no one’s favorite animated feature, Alpha & Omega!

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Arctic Dogs

Directed by Aaron Woodley

Before we get into Arctic Dogs let me tell you about my only look into what the general public thought about it pre-release. I was watching trailers before The Addams Family and a couple came on for upcoming animated films, which most people laughed at. Then the trailer for Arctic Dogs came on. I have never heard a quieter theater in my entire life. All talking ceased. No one could muster a reaction to the absurd generic mess before us. After watching the whole movie, in an empty theater, I might add, I have to say that their reactions were rather prescient, Arctic Dogs is mostly nothing.

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The Chronicles of Ernie and Cerbie (2018)

The Chronicles of Ernie and Cerbie (2018)

Directed by Tammy A. Williams

Continuing our look at the strangest of the strange dog movies, today we take a look at a film that boldly mashes together Greek Myth and Catholic Orphanages while adding just enough of a telepathic dog to land it a spot in this series, The Chronicles of Ernie and Cerbie! And yes, that is the full title because this isn’t just a movie, this is much much more. Come with me and we’ll explore the memorable world of Ernie and Cerbie!

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