Directed by Jeff Wadlow

I hadn’t heard of this movie before I saw a poster that was simply a teddy bear with the title ‘Imaginary’ and didn’t know what it was so I checked for a trailer, then all the usual suspects appeared. A family moves into a new house, there is tension between parents and children, something innocuous turns out to be evil, but enough about Night Swim, we’re talking about Imaginary! Imaginary, Blumhouse’s new foray into bear themed horror, which shouldn’t surprise anyone after the disgusting financial success of Five Nights at Freddy’s, came out in early March to prove that it isn’t just January that gets pointless horror releases.

After moving back to her childhood home with her new husband and two stepchildren, a children’s book author comes face to face with her childhood imaginary friend, but after seeing her young daughter’s strange behavior…..oh to hell with it, I can’t even do this.

This is one of the hardest reviews I’ve ever had to write. Not because I had to spend a week collecting my thoughts and digging through the layers of Imaginary to come up with an interpretation of it that does justice to the piece of art that I had the privilege to witness, but because Imaginary is so damn generic. From the trailer alone, you know just about everything that happens, so how should I comment on this? Do I say that it had a beginning, middle, and end? That someone wrote it and someone directed it and then it was distributed by Blumhouse? WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? Do you want me to talk about the screen it was projected on? The wavelength of the spectrum of light used to show it? Well, I’m done! Do something else and stop making me think about Imaginary!