Monthly Archive: October 2023

Halloween Spooktacular / Horror / Movie Reviews

Halloween Roundup! Five Nights at Freddy’s, The Exorcist: Believer, The Nun II

Halloween Roundup

Five Nights At Freddy’s
The Exorcist: Believer
The Nun II

Usually, I only group movies together like this when they’re part of the same series or if there is some special theme linking them all together, which this group doesn’t really have. Unless you count ‘being bad’ as a theme, which, whatever, let’s go with that! The theme here is bad movies that I saw recently which also happen to be horror movies released near Halloween! That’s kind of a spoiler, but what did you expect? Did you think the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie was going to be awesome? That the Exorcist revival brought to us by the guy who brought back the Halloween franchise and then spent years re-killing it was going to capture the magic of the original? That The Nun II has any reason to exist? Might as well get started on these.

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Horror / Movie Reviews

Slotherhouse

Directed by Matthew Goodhue

*SPOILERS FOR SLOTHERHOUSE*

I asked for a horror movie starring a sloth, and, for my sins, I got one. Many years ago, in a review of Cannibal Holocaust, I remarked how the sloth seen in that movie may have been the only sloth to appear in a horror movie. Here we are, years later, and I finally have a slasher movie starring a sloth, one that I was so pumped to see that it made me legitimately sad when I couldn’t attend the one-night theater release in person. After all that Slotherhouse finally came to Hulu and after having seen it I can say with no hesitation or remorse that it is not good. At all. It hurt me more than any movie I’ve seen in a long – long – time. So let’s dissect this thing and find out what went wrong.

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Horror / Movie Reviews

Saw X

Saw X (2023)

Directed by Kevin Greutert

Congratulations to Lionsgate on their momentous accomplishment of reaching the 10th film in the Saw series! Who would have thought that a low-budget movie about Cary Elwes cutting off his own leg could spawn a franchise to call its own? Amusingly, the Saw franchise kind of passed me by, I saw the last one, Spiral, but haven’t seen a main franchise Saw movie in over a decade, so I didn’t know what to expect. So I asked a friend of mine who I consider an expert on the Saw franchise if he noticed any kind of evolution between Saw and Saw X, and the answer was a resounding, “No.” If that doesn’t give you high hopes for the newest installment, I don’t know what will!

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Halloween Spooktacular / Horror / Movie Reviews

A Haunting in Venice

A Haunting in Venice (2023)

Directed by Kenneth Branagh

Happy Spooktober to you, friends! It’s been a while and I’m joyful to be writing again, especially now, the spookiest time of the year. For my first review of the season, I saw the newest film in the Poirot series, A Haunting in Venice. I’m not overly familiar with Poirot, I’ve only seen the recent Murder on the Orient Express and haven’t read any of the books, but I generally like Kenneth Branagh and I can’t say no to a spooky period piece, so I checked it out. Right after seeing this I also went to Six Flags for Frightfest, which isn’t related at all but I just wanted to mention it in case anyone wants to talk about Frightfest. Please, I’m begging you. Anyway, A Haunting in Venice!

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