Monthly Archive: July 2019

Star Paws

Star Paws

Well here it is. I have made it my goal to watch the weirdest, the strangest, and the most shocking Dog movies out there this summer. We haven’t quite gotten to the mindmelting stuff yet, don’t worry it’s coming, so I wanted to share a dog movie from our favorite purveyor of random bits of scraps arranged in the shape of films, Evan Tramel! I’m probably the only person on Earth who knows Evan Tramel by name so let me refresh your memory by linking to two of his past films, A Frozen Christmas, and The Grump Who Stole Christmas.

Does this not instill you with confidence?

Buckle up. We’re in for a bumpy ride.

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Zeiram (1991)

Zeiram (1991)

Directed by Keita Amemiya

Sometimes movies turn out to not be what we expect them to be. When some friends and I turned on Zeiram we expected to find a campy Power Rangers-esque martial arts movie that we could enjoy somewhat ironically. What we instead saw was something completely unexpected, a surprisingly well-made movie that fused together science fiction, martial arts, and body horror in a way that I had no idea I wanted so badly.

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Sherlock Bones (1994)

And the winner for most deceptive DVD cover goes to…SHERLOCK BONES!

Before I get into my review of Sherlock Bones, I want you all to do a thought experiment with me. Imagine, if you will, what you think would happen in a movie titled Sherlock Bones. Think of how many different ways you could take that material! Maybe you’re imagining a dog dressed like Sherlock Holmes solving mysteries with his human Watson? Or maybe Watson is a dog too and they have to solve dog mysteries that humans don’t know about! Maybe they need to stop a cat burglar that’s an actual cat! My point is, whatever movie you are imagining would be a better movie than Sherlock Bones.

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